The Right Thing To Do

I am never confused. I always know what is the right thing to do. So let me tell you the right thing to do as well. Then we can all be doing the right thing to do.

Even if you might not know, there are different kinds of right things to do in different kinds of situation for the same kind of circumstances. So I will tell you the right sorta thing to do in the different sorta circumstances for the same sorta situations.

You must talk talks, talksey talks; say my name is Taliban Khan and I am talks. Drone the drones, drooney drones, bad bad 'Murican drones.

Forget and make the world forget how poor poor Pakistani Muslim brothers harboring innocent innocent Afghan, Uzbek, Tajik Muslim brothers spawned from cool schools of madaresahs, setup by righteous Pakistan, fueled by blood of the Pakistani middle classes, paid for by the brotherly Saudis, trained by the evil Americans, were used for the glorious acts of Islamic Jihad to damage Soviet, Indian and Afghan interests and for furthering Pakistani, American and Saudi interests in Afghanistan, helping free Kashmir and conducting mumbai attacks. It was a great Jihad for the glory of Islam and Pakistan. Forget it, forget it, forget it!

Once the talks begin you must say I am Taliban Khan and talks are useless. Yes, useless and will fail. Say Taliban are brothers. Say how they are feeling abandoned, abandoned like bombs created and placed in the backyard with kids. But you must not defuse the bombs. They are holy bombs and they only want to enforce holy Shariah. Holy Shariah by wholly blowing the kids into holy pieces.

Once your so farsighted predictions of talks failing comes true and military does what it does best and Taliban start wetting their pants, show pictures of children from Afghanistan and Syria to prove how bad Pakistan army is. When that doesn't work. Say alas, drones were much better. They weren't so accurate and mostly killed civilians, our holy leaders' pants remained clean. Now they stink, eww.

Finally and quite suddenly when the poor and innocent, abandoned and holy Muslim brothers-in-shariah turn upon their Shariah loving Muslim brothers and masters becoming Indian RAW agents using Indian arms and ammunition and bearing Indian injections. Not wearing Salwar Qameez and not having beards, forget the one Pakistani boy too young to sport a beard, and impress upon yourself and world how Islam and Pakistan has nothing to do with it! Its all India. It was not Pakistan which created Taliban or failed to neutralize them, it was Indian and Afghan money which made them holy agents of India and Afghanistan against the holy land of Pakistan. So it is not a holy Islamic Jihad, its a dirty dirty carnage.

Lets forget our own meagre disease and look at Indian injections. Taliban are Muslim brothers! And of course my name is Taliban Khan and government has failed to protect the important Installations of Pakistan.

I am never confused. I always know what is the right thing to do. And I am telling you the right thing to do as well. So we could all be doing the right thing to do.

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